Dan and Kevin’s Fearless Forecast-1928
Another installment of the wonderful musings by Everything's better with Bacon Media Group' & freelance writer who has no regard for anyone's personal feelings. We'd like to request that the computer stop taking pitchers for George before he burns his house down.
Batting - This team isn't as flash as some previous Gorilla offenses, however they are an on base catalyst. You can't stop them from having multiple runners on base consistently. They have plenty of power to bring them home, this team could again challenge the RS lead for the league. A-
Pitching - McWeeny is such a dick. Davis, you think he'll be unbeaten in the SCL? Many of these pitching staffs are equal, so minus any 'stud' on the roster the team is still passable to the playoffs. B
Jersey City Skeeters
Batting - Kevin has some good bats, the problem, 4 of them are full time outfielders. Rap Dixon is a beast though, its been a few seasons since Kevin had a monster, but he's got 1 this season. B
Pitching - Kevin said his wife wouldn't feed him anymore if he didn't start winning, so I gave him Pete Alexander. Then he promptly let Baltimore kick my ass. Next time I'm swatting that mosquito in my ear. B-
Batting - Chuck Kelin if not limited would have been 1 of the best players in the league this year, but you had a 3 peat recently, no one feels bad, hobble on chucky! C-
Pitching - A competitive top half of the rotation but the rest of it probably won't be enough to hold the water back..C
Batting - I say, a Pines offense that may not be the best in the AL even? Babe Ruth is going to hit a bazillion home runs, Hornsby is a freak, Gehrig is a monster, Ott and Parnell are in on it, Heavy Johnson, this team takes roids. There I said it, they take so many steroids they'll never catch a cold. A
Pitching - Ed Morris, I think Joe kept him as driftwood for 15 seasons, I predict Morris wins 25 with that offense. Much better pitching staff than last season for Georgia, these guys are playoff bound. A-
Batting - Wells, my goodness, what a team captain, this guy's got big hands. Least that's what all the ladies signs say around the ballpark, people are starting to wonder what code their using. B+
Pitching -They could be the best pitching staff in the AL. Fabre may lead the AL in saves. B+
Batting - The Miners ownership was given some bad cheese, so Kevin has taken control of the helm to offset the bathroom messes. Will Mr. Graham Sr make random changes weekly to this MP? C+
Pitching - They drafted the Skeeters discarded ace and he'll probably win a lot of games, team Larry Benton for congress. C
Batting -That Foxx guy never seems to amount to anything, I'd drop him. D+/C-
Pitching -Jesse Haines is a decent SP this season, the rest a tough way to keep the other team off the scoreboard. D
Batting - George is still building toward that better season, Goslin is a stud, it's tough to see him though with all the Giants in the land. C-
Pitching -The pitching staff can keep games close this year, we could have a sneaky competitive Giants squad & Walker is a positive in late game situations. C+/B-
AL Standings Projection:
Jersey City Skeeters
*Notes* The top 2 teams look on paper like they should cruise into the playoffs, the 3rd spot will be closer the gaps from 3-6 are less so obvious.
Batting - This squad should be a pesky crew, perhaps this year they should be the Wheaton Grinders, and we aren't talking about a hot sandwich. B
Pitching - Trent becomes the ace, Braxton is well above average also, this is a high quality pitching staff considering the year. A-
Batting - John has always generally been an anti offense, a pitching first type of guy, this season is no exception. C-
Pitching - Foster looks great on paper, if he isn't bit in DMB he should be in the running for POY. Henderson is a perfect over performer candidate, let the retooling continue. C-
Batting - Redus & Stearnes are back at it again, both could touch 50 HRs if the sim is kind. There are plenty of on base options to stick in front of them, this team will have no problem scoring runs in bunches this season. B-
Pitching - V has a solid pitching staff this season, Malone & Grimes could contend for the pitcher of the year, Thomas could sneak in there as well. B+/A-
Batting - Jimmy slept his way to the top of the NL in 1927. He's like the east coasts version of Kamala Harris. *cackle* B
Pitching - Luckily this pitching staff shouldn't get Jimmy that far up the ladder this year for the rest of the NL. Gray is a solid SP though, but the back end of this staff just isn't enough this season. C-
Batting - They continue to trend in a better direction, they will score some runs this season. Not enough to be relevant but hey progress is happening for sure! C-/C
Pitching - Powell & Cooper are a solid combo, it surprises me someone from the cast of Robin Hood is in the bullpen though. C
Custers Crimson Tide
Batting - Ty Cobb rides off into the sunset after this season, he'll be greatly missed, what an asset & contributor to the success since I came here in 1915. B+
Pitching -Steel Arm Tyler follows up his POY season with another run at it, he has a chance to crack the vote but the innings total could foil those plans. For the season that it is, the pitching staff isn't terrible but the NL has some damn good staffs this year that we don't compete well with. B-
Batting - I'd like to publicly thank Mr. Alfonso for not getting any more at bats than he did. Luckily most of the top end bats on this team are less than half a season of eligibility. Remember Tim, Adam paid his 'old man of f last year, & they always get their man. B-
Pitching - Vance is a monster! No wait Paige is a monster! Crap... A+
Batting - Suttles & Bottomley, well, the Dreamers are making waves & chugging toward a playoff showdown or at the least a massive battle for that 2nd W/C spot! B-
Pitching - Dave has assembled some good pieces, he also got a wild card in Earnshaw that has high ks & walks, what will the wild thing turn into? C+
NL Standings Projection:
Custers Crimson Tide
*Notes* The last playoff spot is up for grabs the Robins, the Tide, the spider and their top rotation, & the Dave's dreamers are all going to war for that spot. the NL is going to be the wild west from 3-6.
Kevin G’s Predictions:
Oh lord, it’s hard for me to be humble,
When you’re perfect in every way.
Every time I look in the mirror,
I get better looking every day.
That’s all true, but as you are also well aware, I am on a prediction roll. In the last 5 seasons I have correctly predicted 14 of the 15 Playoff teams and every World Series winner. You could look it up.
So, with those “alternative “ facts out of the way, let’s get started on kicking Dan’s predictive ass once again.
Skeeters: GM- Kevin Graham
Did you ever get gas at a self-serve pump, and pull out with the handle still in your tank, spewing gas everywhere, panicking, driving away, and then tossing the handle into the woods a couple miles down the road? Is that a federal offense?......asking for a friend.
The Skeeters have the best OF in the League. Cool Papa Bell, Rap Dixon (1928 Hitter of The Year), Al Simmons, and for good measure, Chaney White. They’ll be crying in baseball this season. I feel sorry for the pitchers. The Skeeters have 6 guys that will hit double digits in HRs, and 6 guys that will steal 20-50 bases. Somebody named Joe Boley will play short, and the bench is thin. That is a concern.
On the mound, newcomer Pete Alexander heads a decent pitching staff. Not as good as last season which is a concern. .
Georgia Pines: GM- Joe Clark
If you’re like me, you might picture Joe Clark as a tough, gruff, take no prisoners type of guy. But I bet he puts his nail polish on one finger at a time, just like all of us. Neatly trimmed, buffed clean, with a nice clear coat base applied, and 3 thin coats of a duo chrome polish that matches his eyes.
Hornsby, Ruth, Gehrig, Heavy Johnson and now Mel Ott lead a nasty, evil offense. There’s not enough Catholic priests in the world to exorcise the demons out of this line-up. They’ll have the pitchers in this league spinning their heads and projectile vomiting pea soup before and after every hitter.
The only chance good can triumph over this evil is if a very good starting staff featuring Jack Quinn, Red Ryan, and Ed Morris vastly underachieve. An issue that has plagued the Pines over the last few seasons. Not to worry, I’ve had some dealings with Satan before, and besides, he owes me a favor. Don’t ask, but it involves a Kardashian.
Vegas Vipers: GM Doug Slothower
Doug is a teacher in Vegas, and he reminds me of my 11th grade English teacher, Mr. Mosely. A full beard, a good sense of humor and a hearty laugh. I imagine Doug is also a hugger, and he too gets chalk all over his beard when he eats it.
Willie Wells is not from this planet, he will dominate again this season. Hack Wilson will start to play a little more hack-like, but the Vipers will need to mix and match to fill out several positions.
Pennock, Grove, Brewer and Fitzsimmons are as good a starting 4(excepting the Storm) in this league. Isidro Fabre, may be the best reliever this league has ever seen. If Doug can manage the offense, and not get lazy…”Like he always does!” I’m quoting his ex-wife there…his 2nd….or maybe his 3rd or 4th ex-wife. He remarried his 1st ex-wife, so the math gets confusing.
Shamokin Stogies: GM Dave Nemec
I was thinking about Dave while I was taking a shower this morning; don’t get all pervy, I was fully clothed. There’s a squirrel in my neighborhood that keeps peeking in at me when I shower. I don’t want that fluffy-tailed rodent getting any ideas, so I cover up. I was trying to figure the best way to dispose of some dead cats without raising suspicion, and I figured Dave was the type of guy that could help me out. Let me know Dave, it’s really a lot of cats.
The Stogies went into the draft with only 11 keepers, and came out of the draft with Chuck Klein, and 10 guys named Rube. Torriente is a part-timer this season, and the rest of the offense would make for a bad tavern league softball team. Just kidding, it’s not that bad, but it’s not that good either.
Cliff Bell, William Bell and the newly acquired Laymon Yokely are a very capable starting 3. Too bad they can’t pitch shutouts in every game.
Cooperstown Giants: GM George Glavas
Stamp collecting is boring, why do people collect stamps? Any ideas, George?
The Giants will not lose 100 games this season. They will finish over .500. Goslin, Waner, Terry and Traynor are all Hall of Famers. Put them in the top of the order for every game this season and good things will happen.
Blake, Jones, Glass and Marberry, need to step up and pitch a little better than their stats, especially Marberry, to give them any chance at making the playoffs. Adding Eppa Rixey will only make them better. But beating out the Gorillas, Pines and Vipers still won’t be easy.
Kenmore Miners: GM Mike Murphy
I’m sure all the GMs in the league join me in wishing you a quick recovery. Listen to your doctors and your wife, they are way smarter than you Mike.
V, Dave Nemec, and myself banded together to run the draft for the Miners. Did you ever see the movie where the 3 Stooges have a pie fight, ultimately ruining everything? Yeah it was kind of like that. I was the Moe to their Larry and Curly. Although V could Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck , better than I expected.
Fats Jenkins and Pythias Russ are very good, but they will not be able to carry a team that lacks the long ball.
I gifted the Miners Larry Benton in the draft, but he won’t be enough. The Siamese twins of Joe Williams and Joe Williams will not approach any semblance of good pitching this season. The Miners will not approach .500 either. Not to worry, when Mike gets back, he’ll have this team back in the playoffs by 1935.
Indianapolis Racers: GM Terry Baxter
Terry was a GM in the 1st Diamond Mind league I was ever in. Could that have been 20 years ago? His team, the Walford Wallabies, were a dominant force for many seasons. I used to refer to them as the Dreaded Wallabies. The Racers may someday be the Dreaded Racers, but for now they are Dreadful.
Jimmie Foxx finally gets some playing time this season. At just 20 years old he is not yet The “Beast”. Kiki Cuyler may lead this team in home runs this season. That’s a problem. The woefully under performing Laymon Yokely was traded away, leaving the Racers with a sad collection of sad pitchers that might occasionally throw a 1/2/3 inning.
Gashouse Gorillas (1927 SCL Champions): GM Ryan Buckley
Ryan has been a GM in the SCL since the beginning. At the start of the SCL I somehow got it in my head that he was a small child, and I have always joked about it since then. He’s been online several times, and he is obviously an adult. But when he won the last World Series, I was thinking about what he might have done to celebrate his Championship. I wondered if his mommy put a new light bulb in his Easy-Bake oven and helped him make a cupcake. Is there something wrong with me? Do I think about Ryan too much, and is that a bad thing?
Jud Wilson, Martin Dihigo, Chino Smith and Tubby Scales are very good but none of them play a full season. Paul Waner will hit .370 while playing every game, but little Ryan Buckley (I can’t help myself) will need to do some line-up management this season to rake up the wins.
McWeeny is their best pitcher? Roosevelt Davis is listed at 20-0 in his real-life stats. He’s not that good. On paper, this team is very good. But paper can be rolled up in a ball and tossed into an Easy-Bake oven. FYI: never put a kitten in an Easy-Bake oven.
1. Gorillas- They should still win 100 games.
2. Pines- They should win 99 games
3. Vipers- I see a distant 3rd in their future
4. Giants- A lot of early trades should make them competitive.
5. Skeeters- I see a distant 5th, and a #8 draft pick in their future. (And why are the Giants ahead of me?)
6. Miners- No chance, I blame myself and the other 2 stooges.
7. Stogies- 100 losses is a possibility
8. Racers- They will have 1st dibs on the Earl Averill sweepstakes.
The Vipers and Giants tie with 90 wins. The Vipers beat the Giants when Firpo Marberry blows a 5 run lead in the 9th.
The Pines sweep the Vipers scoring 10+ runs in all 4 games.
The Gorillas and Pines head into the 9th inning of Game #7 tied 18-18.
ArkLaTex Robins: GM V
As some of you may be aware this will be V’s last season in the SCL. He has finished that 30 FT yacht that he’s been building for the last 25 years and he’s finally going to fulfill his life-long dream of sailing around the world. However, he may not have thought it through all the way. Living in the land locked state of Oklahoma he may need some help getting the yacht out of his back yard, and down to the Gulf Coast, so if you know anybody that can help a guy out, have them reach out to V.
Years ago V and I were both writing baseball history blogs. V was writing baseball prose, while I was writing words that were sometimes coherent. Somehow we began corresponding through the comment sections of each other’s blogs. V’s comments usually started with WTF!
When I approached V to be in my little historical baseball simulation, I had to ask him a couple of times before he agreed. Ok...I may have begged him to join. I was actually not that far away from groveling. Luckily it didn't need to come to that. Things get ugly when I grovel.
I knew he’d probably enjoy participating in a league like this, and that someday he would express his eternal gratitude for inviting him to join. I'm still waiting for his eternal gratitude, but not to worry, I'll be fine, eternal gratitude is kind of overrated.
I do want to thank you V for participating in this baseball journey of mine. You have been a great GM, a great addition to the league, and an even better person. Your participation has made this a better league, and you will be missed by all. I am "eternally grateful". Peace to you my friend.
Redus and Stearnes are a potent 1-2 punch. This team has gap power with a potential of 8 players hitting 30+ doubles which could lead to a lot of runs scoring. The Robins’ starting 5 is pretty good. Malone, Grimes, Thomas, Walberg and Farrell could all win 15+ games.
Southport Spiders: GM Jim Copeland
Jim and I did a podcast together, when we were GMs in the Great American Pastime League, many years ago. I was a teenager at the time, and Jim had just gotten out of prison. The GAPLCAST was strictly for the league, and it was a lot of fun to do. We put out about 15 episodes. I miss doing them, but the time, energy, and commitment to put them together got to be too much. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on your perspective, I think only 1 episode survived, and I believe I shared it with the SCL awhile back.
Once again Chick Hafey is the Spiders’ best player. He will team up with Lu Blue as the only double digit HR threat on the team. This team will struggle to score runs, which is bad news for Willie Powell and Andy Cooper. They head a pretty nice pitching staff, but their only chance of winning any games would be if they were all traded to the Giants. (I seem to be showing some Cooperstown love in this preview. Hopefully that’s not an early sign of dementia. I still have so much more to give.)
Custer’s Crimson Tide: GM Dan Bacon
Every season Dan sends me his pathetic predictions just 2 days after the draft ends. How does he do it so fast? He must type 200 words a minute. I sat down to type this, and I’m immediately looking around for the “S” key. Adam will tell you, I type like I was one of Jerry’s Kids. (Did that joke cross a line? I feel like I crossed a line.) No, screw Jerry Lewis. Every Labor Day he paraded those kids in front of a camera like they were competing in a cutest kid contest, while treating them like nothing more than pathetic victims, of a horrible disease. Now let’s all watch them beg for money. Aint they cute?
I remember watching the telethon and seeing this happen.
“Ed McMahon, tell us who we have coming to the stage.” McMahon puts down his drink, “Well Jerry this is little Timmy Jones from Smalltown Virginia.” “Timmy has a neuromuscular disease that has left him with no muscular control, but he’s able to communicate by twitching his nose. Once for yes, and twice for no. Aint he cute?”
Lewis addresses Timmy, “Well Timmy, are you excited to be on TV?” Timmy just sits there, frantically twitching his nose over and over. “It seems that Little Timmy stutters.” Jerry Lewis mugs for the camera. Aint he funny? Timmy keeps twitching. Someone comes over and wheels Timmy off the stage. “Aint he cute?”
It was later determined that Timmy was using Morse code to twitch out. “FU funny man, Die, Die, Die.” I’m right there with you Timmy.
The Tide had it all last season. The Championship was theirs for the taking, and they choked, screwed the pooch. bit the big one, got schooled, got bitch slapped, … I think you catch my drift.
Charleston is still awesome, Cobb is a 40 year old stud and Creacy will again drive in 100 runs.
S.A. Tyler, Hoyt, Pipgras and Lucas are pretty good, but the bullpen is suspect. I see a few blown saves in their future.
Baltimore Terrapins: GM Jimmy Keenan
If we took a vote on who was the nicest GM in the League, Jimmy would get 14 of the 16 votes. Of course he wouldn’t vote for himself, and neither would I. Nobody can be that nice, I see right through you Keenan. When we are online playing the All-Star game or the playoffs, there is so much sugar sweet niceness coming out of his mouth, I can actually taste it. I like a small taste of cotton candy, but ram 10 pounds of it down my throat, and I’m puking that back up.
I’m not fooled Keenan. When the State Police find 10 bodies buried under his crawl space, you know his next store neighbor will be on the Six-O’clock News saying, “I’m shocked, he seemed like such a nice man.” I won’t be shocked….no sir….not this guy.
The Terrapins almost shocked the world last season, coming within 1 win of winning it all. He did it with good hitting and some clutch pitching. Manush, Mackey, Lazzeri, Rile, and Sewell lead a pretty decent offense. Their pitching staff however, is 10 pounds of cotton candy.
Peoria Caterpillars: GM John Momberg
It’s not something that is common knowledge, but John suffers from sphenopalatine ganglion neuralgia. Sounds horrible. No telethons for this one. That’s right, he suffers from ice cream headaches. We’ve all been there. Enjoying a nice dish of tin roof sundae ice cream and bam, it hits you. Unfortunately John doesn’t need to be eating ice cream when it hits him. Reading, sleeping, mowing the lawn, watching the Masked Singer, and then bam, out of nowhere, ice cream headache. I think Jerry Lewis has a son that might be interested in starting a telethon. This ends today John.
Babe Herman has a solid season, and Judy Johnson doesn’t. The rest of the offense is kind of weak.
Willie Foster and Rats Henderson are pretty good, but will struggle to get some wins. This is going to be an ice cream headache type of season for the Caterpillars.
Wheaton Warbirds: GM-Adam Graham
Adam has a dog named Austin, He’s a black Lab/mix and he eats everything. Grass, feces, his own, mine (that’s a long story, best left untold)/toilet paper/dead things/ any toy laying around/sticks/ibuprofen/ and it hasn’t been confirmed yet, but there are several cats missing from the neighborhood. (no loss there) Other than that, he’s just annoying, and a pain in the ass. Still way better than any cat.
Walter Johnson has retired as the SCL leader in Wins, Strikeouts, Complete Games and Ips.
Walter Cannady and Freddie Lindstrom supply the pop for the Warbirds. Bullet Rogan shines on the hill and at the plate, and should rebound after a so-so 27 season.
Ted Trent has Pitcher of The Year chances and George Mitchell joins him and Rogan as a solid 3. The rest of the staff is troublesome.
Sunderland Storm: GM Tim Deale
Tim is another nice guy in the league. He’s miles behind Jimmy, but he’s miles ahead of anyone else in the league. Most of you should be institutionalized. Half of you should have never been allowed back in society. I was roommates with 2 of you, so I should know.
Last season, on paper, the Storm had one of the top pitching staffs in League history, this season they might be a little better. They struggled with consistency last season, they need to make sure that doesn’t happen in 28. A woeful offense lost a bunch of 1-0, 2-1 games last season. They are better with the addition of Del Bissonette, but their power numbers aren’t impressive. They have several key players in Lloyd, Alfonso, McGowan, and Harris that provide less than full-time ABs, but they should still be able to score enough runs for their pitchers.
Dyersville Dreamers: GM-David Kuehn
Worldwide you are 10x less likely to be bitten by a shark than you would be bitten by another person in New York City. It explains why every time I go to type David Kuehn’s last name, I have the sudden urge to drive to NYC and bite someone’s arm. Is it Kuenn? Keunn? Keuhnn? Who knows? I think he changes the spelling all the time just to mess with people’s heads. I think Dave should do the entire city of New York a favor and just change his name to Smith. My last name used to be O’Grahmengobragh. It drove the nuns at St. Patrick’s Elementary School to tear at their habits and sing Beatles’ songs. Their Hey Jude would send the entire city of Scranton into a frenzy. David Smith…give that a try…..it just rolls off the Tongue.
Suttles and Bottomley are sharing 1st base. That’s a lot of ABs and muscle left on the bench. Shanty Hogan will hit, but even for a catcher he is a slug on the base paths, Charlie Gehringer will, as usual get his hits.
Darltie Cooper, Jumbo Elliot, Joe Genewich, and Bill Sherdel are a fine starting 4, but the platoon of Suttles and Bottomley, will cut into their win totals.
1. Storm- Pitching and an improved offense
2. Robins-Stearnes and Redus lead the way
3. Crimson Tide-Win this for the Cobber
4. Warbirds- Starting pitching looks good, the offense, not so much.
5. Dreamers-Too much offense lost.
6. Terrapins- No miracle this season
7. Spiders- No offense, with a little pitching
8. Caterpillars- Foster and Henderson should mutiny, Earl Averill may refuse to sign with them.
The Tide get swept by the Robins. The Robins sweep the Storm winning each game by a score of 1-0.
The Robins take the AL Pennant winner to a deciding 7th game. The result will depend on whether the check clears.